Self-portrait as a Mother
Like many other photographers, I'm often loathe to put myself in front of the camera. When my subjects tell me, "Oh, I don't like having my picture taken," I reply, "Neither do I, I understand!" Having someone pay excruciating attention to the way you look, even through a viewfinder, can be nerve-wracking.
Peoples' anxieties about how they appear in photographs show that we are conscious that images, even casual snapshots, can come to represent who we are. It's not always something we can control. The smiling (or frowning) photo of Great-Great-Uncle-Jim becomes a way for younger generations to learn about him. Photographs can also become totems; that's why we kiss the pictures of those we love.
Since I have a baby on the way, I knew I had to set aside my own anxieties. I would want to remember the experience of being pregnant (not just this time, but any time in the future as well), and so a self-portrait session was born.
It's amazing what can be done with very little in your own bedroom. Both of these portraits were taken using a single incandescent light, and two secondary flashes, triggered by my on-camera flash, which was dialed down.
The portrait was excellent practice for both working with off-camera flash and putting myself out there. It gave me an appreciation for other photographers who make magical things happen with flash, and for my all subjects, who are so willing to entrust themselves and their image to me.
