ARCHIVES: Personal


The habit of creativity

In early January I had the extreme pleasure of attending Mystic 5, a photography conference in Connecticut put on by Walter Van Dusen. I confess: it's my first photography conference ever. I enjoyed many of the speakers, took lots of notes, and had the chance to network a bit with fellow professionals.

I left energized, in awe, and humbled. It's amazing how much talent there is in the world. I should really stop being so jealous of others' talents and successes; I could waste some serious time, since there's no shortage of masterly photographers to admire.

notes from the Mystic 5 photography conference

When I packed up and left, I had filled several pages of my notebook with frenzied scribbles. I left with loads of ideas and things to try from the technical to the personal, from customer service to camera gear. It's going to take awhile to try everything on.

notes from the Mystic 5 photography conference

I also left with a little piece of Jerry Ghionis' educational product: PicPockets (the Ordinary to Extraordinary set). Perhaps not the smartest investment I could make with my limited cash flow, but purposeful nonetheless. As a busy working mom, it's tough to sit down and complete long computer tutorials, to make space in my home to experiment the way I want to, or take time to read a manual on photography.

Jerry Ghionis PicPockets deck of cards

So, I've alloted myself one card per day--one little piece of photographic inspiration--that will help to create the mental habit of looking for ways that I can manipulate the existing (less than ideal) environment to create dramatic or unusual images. Being in the practice of analyzing my environment with a photograph in mind is vital. It's the photographer's equivalent to an athlete's stretching session: warm and tone your creative muscles, and you'll get better results when the pressure is on.

Digital and analog: medium & mindset

I've been shooting film again.

It makes it quieter here on the blog, but also a little more peaceful inside my head. I'm using my old Nikon FM-10--an all-manual marvel of goodness that I haven't picked up in about 3 years. Working in all-manual again, with no immediate feedback, puts me in a different headspace.

my Nikon FM10 camera

What makes it different is that I think twice about taking a shot, because my resources are limited. Without the immediate feedback of a digital camera, I hedge my bets by taking multiple frames of the same shot at different exposures (known as "bracketing", for those who are curious).

That once-familiar lag time between moment taken and moment seen lends itself to a feeling of delight and disappointment. "Oh, that shot came out beautifully!" or, "Oh my, that didn't work so well." Feelings at the time of capture often don't match feelings at the time of evaluation.

canisters of film from the lomographic society

In a way, I think the analog process of photography has the potential to nurture creativity more effectively. True, you can spend a great deal of time criticizing and second-guessing your subject matter, or worry about "wasting" frames on something frivolous. But by eliminating instant feedback, it also eliminates instant criticism of your own work. It creates space between creating and evaluating, which is what many artists need in order to grow.

Conversely, there's a great deal of benefit to having instantaneous feedback. When I first procured a digital SLR, I felt freed to see the photo I had just taken appear miraculously on the screen on the back of the camera. It allowed me to say, "Oh, that didn't work, let me try something else," instead of, "I sure hope that worked, let me bracket that again!" Failed experiments are more obviously failed experiments.

But because it's so easy to try on a style or technique and create frame upon frame upon frame with very little monetary consequence, it's also easy to become sloppy and unfocused in one's work. A just-plain-uninteresting photo or truly bad exposure cannot be fixed in Photoshop. I speak from experience.

Revisiting this medium has been refreshing for me. I hope to glean more lessons from it and bring them into my digital work. I also know that the many things I've learned with my digital camera will feed into what I decide to do with my film. Each medium feeds another, and this is true for film, digital, drawing, painting, sewing, cooking... any creative venture, really.

Handbag synchronicity

I don't get much chance to go shopping for myself. The other day, when making a donation to Goodwill, I happened upon this bag...

handbag found at Goodwill

Which happens to be the same color/pattern idea as the suitcases I put together awhile back.

refurbished suitcases

Because of this striking resemblance, I instinctively bought it. "What fun," I thought, to have my studio branding take over my everyday fashion!" Also, I happen to be on a quest for the Perfect Handbag that doesn't scream "Mom Purse."

It's a tad obnoxious, and the straps aren't quite right. I'm not sure I like it, and then the next day, I love it. Perhaps I wasted $8, but I might be that much closer to the Perfect Handbag.

Orange and blue, brown and turquoise

I've started to notice a very strange pattern regarding the colors in my life. A year or so ago, I started surrounding myself with clothing, accessories, fabrics, and more that fell into the red, orange, and brown categories. I love these colors; they are warm, rustic, passionate, and sensuous. Here's a photo of all the previous acquisitions that I'm talking about:

But lately, everything I buy comes out some shade of blue or turquoise--a much more ethereal, dreamy, and floating kind of color. It's quite uncanny, and unintentional. I first noticed it about a week ago, then gathered all the objects I had recently acquired together. See?

I don't know what my subconscious obsession is made out of, but I'm getting suspicious that something is up. Perhaps I'm gathering these colors around me for an deeply intuitive reason. I'm also highly suspicious because I know (based on color theory) that blue and turquoise are the complementary colors of red/brown/orange. I'm also a huge fan of primary colors; I gravitate to those simple starting colors very quickly.

I started to think that I needed the folks at Pantone to come and analyze me. Then, I looked at their website and did a double-take. The Pantone color of the year is TURQUOISE. NOT KIDDING.

Somebody pinch me.

The orb in the sky

Strange orb in the sky by Studio Mathewes

Wonder what it is? Good, I'm not telling.

A shed in the snow

yellow shed in the snow by Studio Mathewes

I love the color on this shed; it stood out so wonderfully in the pure white landscape.

Lonely net in landscape

lonely sports net by Studio Mathewes

There's no one playing on the fields today.

Clap that bell

Bell clapper at Holy Cross Seminary in Brookline MA

This bell rings whenever services take place on campus at Holy Cross Orthodox Seminary. I laid down underneath the bell and shot upwards in the snow.

A birdhouse where it shouldn't be

birdhouse on the ground by Studio Mathewes

I wonder what the bird thinks of this real estate. Too much traffic, I'd say.

Molly beautiful: the veil

The story is this: Molly (a friend of mine) had a fabulous dress that inspired me to put together this inspiration board (you can see her in the dress on the lower right):

Molly Sibley, model / SmittenXOXO, hairpieces / Jennifer LaVanaway, makeup

I then dragged Leah from SmittenXOXO, and makeup artist Jennifer LaVanaway into the project. Even my mom donated a few of her props--a random set of teacups, linens, and other objects that didn't make it into the final project, but served as inspiration nonetheless.

Leah sent me hairpieces that went with the feel and colors of Molly's dress, and Jennifer worked with gold leaf on Molly's face, to emulate the style of the teacups. Quite lovely!

Molly Sibley, model / SmittenXOXO, hairpieces / Jennifer LaVanaway, makeup

It does help that Molly is so romantically beautiful, too!

Molly Sibley, model / SmittenXOXO, hairpieces / Jennifer LaVanaway, makeup

More excerpts from the shoot coming on Wednesday!

Molly beautiful: interior vintage wonderfulness

Remember Molly beautiful?

It turns out that Molly likes to collect vintage dresses, on top of being rather dazzling. This number was actually her mother's prom dress. How wonderful that she can not only wear it, but really work it!

Molly Sibley, model / SmittenXOXO, hairpieces / Jennifer LaVanaway, makeup

Of course, I like to collect a few random things myself--old lace tablecloths, antique cameras, fans, umbrellas, parasols, and other such junky items that take up space in my closet, but turn out to be really useful when putting a photo shoot together!

Molly Sibley, model / SmittenXOXO, hairpieces / Jennifer LaVanaway, makeup

The fan was a gift from my mother years ago, and the teacup is on loan from her massive collection.

More from this photo shoot coming soon!

Molly Sibley, model / Jennifer LaVanaway, makeup / SmittenXOXO, hairpieces

Artist's Way: My Inspiration Jar

I'm reading through The Artist's Way again. A year or so ago, it was a gift to me from a dear friend of mine, and proved to be very useful in motivating me to keep up with making creative time for myself, as well as taking time to reflect and learn.

I have a habit of writing in the margins of my books, and did so all throughout college. When revisiting a book, it means that I get to see another side of myself, and what resonated with me in the past. Usually, something different resonates with me the second time around, but sometimes I find myself wanting to write the same things over and over again in the margins; occasionally I underline what I've already written.

Artist's Way book with 'intuition' comment.

Awhile back, as directed by the book, I started an inspiration jar, made from an old mason jar whose lid I lost somewhere. I hated to let the jar go to waste, or even be recycled, since a jar can be such a useful thing, even without its lid.

I started dropping little do-dads into it last August, while I was waiting for Lucas to be born. I remember feeling anxious about the birth, as well as creatively restless; I was saving my energy to bring a child into the world. The physical demands of late pregnancy, combined with a self-enforced leave of absence from any paid photo work, meant that I felt a tad useless too.

Contents of my inspiration jar, made from a mason jar

The jar has an Orthodox icon on it, featuring the Resurrection--a symbol of hope and triumph over death. Inside the jar was a scrap of velvety wrapping paper I liked, a few of my favorite wedding images, scraps of paper on which I wrote my anxieties, the foil lid of a wine I really liked (Irony Cabernet Savignon 2005--get a bottle while you can!). Other things--like a found friendship bracelet, the paper crane bottle cap, and blue jay feather--were things that reminded me of my childhood.

We'll see what more ends up in the jar later on; it's nowhere near full yet!

Stella, an outtake

I couldn't resist posting this collage of Stella in her funky outfit.

Stella in her funky outfit built from thrift store clothes

The secret? Well, I found a bunch of clothes at the thrift store the very day I were going to photograph her. The skirt and sweater I found at GoodWill, and she borrowed my boots to match. Who knew she'd happen to have a beautiful yellow coat to match? Fun!

Film work: parking lot markers

parking lot markers by Studio Mathewes, Brookline, Massachusetts wedding photographer

After the big snow awhile back, I started to notice how all the salt and melting made the parking lots around campus look quite different.

parking lot markers by Studio Mathewes, Brookline, Massachusetts wedding photographer

Each red square had its own pattern of wear and tear.

parking lot markers by Studio Mathewes, Brookline, Massachusetts wedding photographer

There is beauty in micro-worlds.

Film work: around the house

Sometimes I don't have much of a chance to get out of the house.

shower curtain by Studio Mathewes, Brookline, Massachusetts wedding photographer

moody by Studio Mathewes, Brookline, Massachusetts wedding photographer

But I make photographs anyway.

Film work: powerful sky

crazy sky with cross by Studio Mathewes, Brookline, Massachusetts wedding photographer

It's a big, big world. We can only understand so much of it.

slide work from a week in Maine

Back in 2002 while still in college and without a car, I spent the entire summer as a bicycling babysitter (I called it "freelance childcare"). I saved all my money, and paid for a one-week workshop at the Maine Photographic Workshops in Rockport.

I was so out of my element. I wasn't used to striking up conversations with random strangers of all ages and backgrounds. I had never experienced a real artistic community outside of my friends at college. It was so refreshing to see such a broad spectrum of people excited about the same things I was.

We shot entirely on slide film (my teacher was Frank LaVelle), handing over our rolls at the end of the day, where they would be developed overnight. We'd see our images the next day. I had never shot digital before; it was so miraculous to see my images so soon after shooting.

slide at sunrise, self-portraits by Studio Mathewes for Maine Photographic Workshops

When I look back at my slide work, it makes me want to order a case of film and go shooting. It's too bad I have a case of 120 black and white film to work through at the moment (I've been shooting with my Diana for the past month).

blow out the candles, buddy

A very happy birthday to my brother Kevin!

Happy Birthday Kevin by Studio Mathewes

Kevin is a nerd, and proud of it. In honor of his birthday, I resurrected some old photos and processed the heck out of them in Photoshop for kicks.

I love you, you fro bro.

Molly the hippy in the mud

When the sun shone bright and it felt like spring was definitely coming, I dragged Molly back out with her fabulous style, and we visited the Arnold Arboretum for some portraits. Mindy, another wonderful photographer friend of mine, came along for the ride.

Molly in her hippy dress by Studio Mathewes, Boston / Baltimore photographer

We started out with an authentic vintage hippy dress; one that Molly's mother had worn back in the 60s. Too awesome, right? And in with tomboy spunk, Molly wasn't afraid to make the phrase "dirty hippy" a truism.

Molly in her hippy dress by Studio Mathewes, Boston / Baltimore photographer

Even though spring hadn't quite hit the Arboretum yet, we made the most of nature.

Molly in the ball gown (or, hippy girl, continued)

After Mindy and I had exhausted ourselves with Molly in her hippy dress, we did a costume change that left some of the Arboretum patrons gawking.

Molly in her ball gown by Studio Mathewes, Boston / Baltimore photographer

Spin, Molly, spin!

Warm afternoon light at its best. These last shots were my favorite. You can tell Molly is loose and enjoying herself. You can feel the breeze and the smells of spring.

Molly in her ball gown by Studio Mathewes, Boston / Baltimore photographer

Thank you, Molly, for a wonderful time!

Resurrecting an old project: Women with Icons

It's been awhile since I've set aside time to work on Women with Icons. A longstanding personal project, I began it back in 2004, shortly after graduating college. It's sat dormant for far too long.

Danielle graciously posed for me the other day, after heavy spring rain had flooded the area. Here we are, enjoying the puddle you saw yesterday, only with St. Peter.

Danielle puddlestomping in Brookline, Massachusetts

Here's my statement on the project:

Though the Eastern Orthodox church is very traditional in its beliefs, it has a long history of recognizing the contributions that women make to society and to their faith. Through the recorded lives of the saints, individual believers can learn about the plethora of female saints commemorated in Orthodoxy, many of whom are depicted in icons--paintings--that line the walls of Orthodox churches.

Upon joining the Orthodox church, individual believers make a connection with the saints by taking on a saint's name. This saint becomes their patron saint, protecting them and interceding for them before the throne of God.

Modern Orthodox women, therefore, have an automatic and deep connection to the women of the past. Women With Icons investigates this shared heritage and history. My goal with this project is quite simple: to photograph Orthodox women of all ages and backgrounds with an icon of their patron saint. I hope to do so in a compelling way, bringing insight into their personalities and revealing the impact that Orthodoxy has on their lives.

Capturing the essence of a person in a single image is a difficult task, and one that takes considerable time and effort. I have yet to master it.

Hopefully I'll have more to add later on.

Danielle puddlestomping

Don't you wish that you could puddle stomp EVERY DAY?

Danielle puddlestomping in Brookline, Massachusetts

I do!

Danielle puddlestomping in Brookline, Massachusetts

I like how she goes from gorgeous to gorgeous-happy here, too.

ShootStyle workshop in Ogunquit, Maine

On Sunday, I packed my bags, left the kids with daddy-o, and drove up to Ogunquit, Maine, for a workshop put on by the lovely folks at ShootStyle. After Michelle Turner went through a wonderful set of posing techniques, we were off to the races.

Photographers split into groups and photographed a pair of models together in a given location (there was quite a variety at hand). Each photographer was given the chance to pose the model in the environment in the way they envisioned. I found it immensely useful to seize control & execute what I wanted, then relax and watch what other people set up, trying to find a new angle on what they saw.

Earl Christie was the first to lead my little group of participants. When it came for my turn to set something up, I wanted to set the couple up in the laundry room; I liked the diffused light coming in, and the different shiny surfaces. A lot of the background was distracting, though.

Our first female model was extremely tall, and although my legs couldn't reach the top of that arch, I theorized that she probably could. I was so excited to test my theory, and find out I was right. Awesome.

And a view of what it looks like to be surrounded by paparazzi.

Jamie Wexler led our group next. Here he is, shooting over my shoulder while we're all crouched in an alley.

Our second female model was willing to dance for me. Sweet.

Bright colors and shiny things!

Another behind-the-scenes shot.

And then I couldn't help but finish up with something goofy. I can't wait for the next workshop.

You can see photos from all the participants on Facebook; I found it extremely interesting to compare.

I have the cutest kids EVER, so there!

I'm a proud mom. What else can I do but post pictures of my kids? Especially when my kids are THIS CUTE:

Lucas swinging in Larz Anderson Park, Boston, Massachusetts

Poor Lucas looks like he's just a little too tiny for the swing, but at least he enjoys it. Ruth can't stop looking out and exploring.

Ruth's eyes sparkle in Larz Anderson Park, Boston, Massachusetts

It's so great to have the warmer weather just around the corner. The outdoors has so much to explore and experience. I can't wait to take my kids camping in the woods so they can discover the mysteries of dirt.

Film Work: making the most of mistakes

Of the recent five rolls of medium-format film I had developed, only two came out well. I realized that experimenting with the pinhole setting on my Diana wasn't working out so well.Sometimes I make mistakes. But I like to make the most of them, and also make a lot of mistakes so I can learn more quickly. Some mistakes even come out beautiful:

Fuji 120 format film shot with Diana camera

I also like to think I made the most of my opportunity with my Diana camera, which was sitting in the front seat of the car while we were driving through NYC. Check out this weird double-exposure of the George Washington Bridge. I'd been dragging it with me everywhere, which certainly helped spur me to think more about photographing everywhere, anywhere, for whatever reason.

Fuji 120 format film shot with Diana camera

The Things I Like

I've been thinking about all the little things around my house that make me happy. I have them here, for your viewing pleasure. First up: my plastic Diana. Although unpredictable, she's a beaut and really helps me to think differently about photography.

Next up, playing hearts. Hearts is a family tradition for me; all the big gatherings are centered around board and card games, but especially hearts. It's so entrenched such that we have a song dedicated to my Grandmother for when she takes the queen of spades. As you can see, I'm not a very good player, but I sure have a good time!

Now for The Books. Please, just go listen to them. They do this amazing stuff with sound collage, rhythm, and found recordings. It's wonderful, especially live with video.

Lastly, journeying into nerddom--pens and all other officey-organizey things. I go through phases of loving certain kinds of pens. Right now, it's these babies. Oh, and I love the Bach hook too. The more organized I am, the more centered and happy my brain feels.

The End.



P.S. None of these endorsements are sponsored. I just really love this stuff.

An anniversary

receding from the reception years ago

I love this image from my wedding. Like many other photographs that capture larger-than-life moments, it represents a beginning and an end: the end of single youth, and the beginnings of married adult responsibility.

And of course, what I love most about the image is that well, it's my wedding.

But this image humbles me, as a wedding photographer. You see, it was taken by a guest--a friend--and not the professional. He got some wonderful shots of the same moment, but there's something about this shot that feels more true to that moment.

And that's just fine by me.

Some of my favorite people

This week, I'm blogging about people I love.

Two of my favorite people snuggling at the DeCordova Museum in Lincoln, MA

These are two of my favorite people, two friends of mine who have been in my life a long, long time. And it just so happens they're in love with each other.

A little imp just came my way

A little imp walked my way and smiled

My daughter, my oldest, my little rascal.

Little imp on the beach

My kids love the beach.

beach imps by Studio Mathewes

beach imps by Studio Mathewes

I do too!

The discovery of the Angel Oak

While in Charleston, South Carolina, I discovered that my husband has quite an eye with my camera when I let him loose.

The Angel Oak in Charleston, South Carolina

Yup, that's right--these three photos were all taken by my husband. They're of the Angel Oak--a beautiful, utterly unique tree that you simply must see in person if you ever get the chance.

Journeying through peaches & water

Ah, the delights of peach-picking.

The Angel Oak in Charleston, South Carolina

And a cool fountain on a hot day.

The Angel Oak in Charleston, South Carolina

Here's hoping everyone's having a wonderful summer!

An everyday bouquet

wildflower bouquet (photo by Studio Mathewes)

My husband is away for part of the week. He gave me this beautiful bouquet. I miss him, but this is here to remind me of his thoughtfulness.